It's All Downhill From Here

You soon learn, in gag or magazine cartooning, that you don't really know what is funny. The cartoons that make you laugh while you are drawing them, almost invariably don't sell, at least not right away. They probably sell eventually, or after the punchline has changed, but by then you certainly don't find them funny anymore.

I think the average strike rate for cartoonists is quite low; around 10 or 20%, so most cartoonists reckon on selling only 1 or 2 cartoons from a batch of around 10. If you sell more than that, its a good feeling, swiftly followed by a feeling of impending doom. Back in 1982 or 1983, I sent a batch of only 6 cartoons to Punch, and they took 3, or 50%. I knew it was an ill-omen; things could only go downhill from there.

There is something comforting in Cartoon Editors picking only 1 or 2 of your ideas. You have the impression of things ticking along just nicely. As far as you are concerned they are possibly just taking one every week because you are dependable - there isn't too much pressure on you as you sit down to knock out the next batch. Now, you take just one cartoon out of that equation, and you really are under pressure. When you submit regularly to a market that takes one cartoon every time you send and suddenly they no longer take any, then you really begin to panic. Oddly, the reverse is also true; they take three of your cartoons when they usually only take one, and suddenly you are under a whole load of pressure. What does it mean, does it mean you have to raise the bar this late in your career? Can it be that you've peaked, and it is all downhill from here?

So here is a batch I put together back at the end of 2008, before I took ill, and which I really didn't punt much, but which failed to sell. I just wasn't feeling it. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to drawing the next batch, which should be an interesting exercise as I think I'm drawing differently; again.

You'll notice that these are mainly pencil and some wash and colour; that's because I tend to send roughs, or at least I did last year but I think in the current climate most publications will prefer finishes, so I'm likely go back to sending the finished article.

Although I haven't rushed back into drawing cartoons, I have kept myself busy drawing a strip and redrawing a couple of Tales from Lepertown stories and I'm currently cooking up one or two indie pieces for a couple of projects out there in the wild. Just the other day though, an idea for a cartoon came to me and I scribbled it down and I had another idea earlier today, so I'm pretty sure I'll have 10 over the next day or two and then, with luck, I'll start chucking them out again.

When you can't get what's in your head, out there.

I started drawing cartoons and submitting them to publications when I was very young. I think, in retrospect, that it was a good time to start because at that age it seems so implausible that anyone will actually buy your work that rejection is nothing more than what you expect. The really surprising thing is when someone actually wants to buy one of the drawings.

The first one to appear was I think, in the Sun. It may be that Accountancy Magazine was the first publication to buy a cartoon from me, but it was published monthly, so the Sun was the first to publish one of my cartoons. What surprised me was the revelation, when I actually had in my hand the newspaper in which my first published cartoon appeared, that what was important was not the drawing, or the humour, or the payment that would most assuredly be coming my way, but that my signature wasn't there. I had put it on the right, below the drawing and it had been cut off. I really wanted my name to be there, however small, however illegible. You see, I really did want to be part of the history of newspapers, albeit in a very small, very minor way. I wanted my name to be on a document that I knew would be housed for posterity, as one copy of all British publications were, in The Scottish Library.


Of course, over time my mindset changed, and then I got married, and then our kids came along, and went to school, and our bills grew, and cartooning actually became a job, and the money became important. At that stage there was a disconnect between the cartoons I liked, and the cartoons I drew. I wanted to create work like Clair Bretecher or Jules Feiffer, work that was intelligent as well as funny, but I just wasn't that smart. Oh, I tried, but I hadn't really been around that long and my ideas about people and politics and life in general weren't very sophisticated, and so there developed a fracture, between what I wanted to create, and what I did for a living.


So there I was, dreaming of tilting at windmills, looking at work that I admired and not really knowing why I couldn't make myself create something like it. Of course I know now that there were many reason why I couldn't do it, and I know now that the very act of trying to drive myself to produce it simply compounded the problem, but back then it was always in the back of my mind that whatever I did just wasn't good enough. It is not a healthy way to think, I know, but I was young.

Anyway, one of the magazines I loved and hated in equal measure, because it reminded me how limited my cartooning abilities were/are, was Heavy Metal. More than the superhero comics and the indie comix I collected, because I could convince myself that Ditko and Kirby and Crumb, were all one-offs, Heavy Metal was a constant reminder of just how many talented "one-offs" there were out there.

I mean to say, honestly, just look at that line-up from one issue in 1978, Moebius, Druillet, Forest drawing Barbarella for goodness sake. I really loved the magazine, but it was so infuriating, because I just couldn't see any way to make the leap from the sort of cartooning I did, to this sort of thing. To be completely honest, I had no idea how some of drawings were created. It would be another couple of years before I would figure out Richard Corben used a spray gun. In this issue, for instance, Francois Schuiten's Going to Pieces actually awed me, here was cartooning that was also clearly art. Here was a complete narrative, without words, for adults and children alike, that was so perfect, so realised, that I would just sit and stare at the drawings, and I had no idea how anyone could make illustrations like that happen.

Not that it made a whole lot of difference when I did understand the techniques and the media involved. If anything it was probably more frustrating to see what a cartoonist like Chantal Montellier was able to produce with simply a pen, ink and paper; and of course a brilliant imagination (the piece is eerily prescient, I think). In fact Montellier's 1996 is one of my favourite comics because it is so visually striking and the story always makes me laugh. No wonder the similarly striking artwork of Jaime Hernandez would be so resonant in my later years - when, of course, I sit in front of Love and Rockets thinking "I can never be this good".

Copyright; Metal Hurlant and the various artists and writers detailed on the contents page above.

The Modern Cartooning Office.

I have a Fujitsu Siemens ScaleoP PC and a Fujitsu Siemens Laptop. The Scaleo is linked up with Broadband and an HP Scanner and a printer, but I became a little quirky while I was ill and decided I wasn't keen on the fact that I had to leave my drawing table to go to it; so instead I started using the Laptop with a Cannon scanner and printer nearer my comfort zone. The trouble is, I don't keep all my programmes and plugins on the Laptop. The Scaleo, which is my main computer really, has all my art programmes, Photoshop, PSP, Manga Studio on it, and my good DVD burning software and my FTP progs, essential for shifting large graphic files over the internet, and a lot of scanned and stored artwork. The Laptop is faster, but the wireless connection to the Internet is insecure, so you don't want to be discussing financial details on it.

Well, the Scaleo stopped booting, at least it stopped at the Windows logo at first, and then it just stopped completely, so I had to do everything by Laptop; except that Lisbeth is now using it for her work. Kim came to my rescue, and loaned me her Laptop (which is covered with skull and crossbone stickers) on which I had to create a new profile, for me, and add some software to use it with the printer and the like, and it has been a real spaghetti junction of wires over where I draw.

My neighbour, kind soul that she is, offered me a replacement monitor, but I told her I'd better make sure that I have a monitor problem first, as it could actually be more complicated. So, finding some spare time, I brought the Scaleo through and hooked it up to my TV, although it was quite a struggle finding space between the Wii and the cable TV box and the DVD player. Anyway, I managed to squeeze it in and because the TV, an Orion, can also be used as a monitor without any fancy adaptors and extra leads so I wasn't adding much to the tangle, and booted it into "safe mode".

I couldn't find the problem I'm afraid, and System Restore wouldn't work, so I decided I would export the registry, and save my docs and illos and files, onto a removable disk drive, and then clean install Windows, and then add all my old info. Before doing so, I opened my Device Manager and uninstalled my Radeon Display Adaptor, as a last resort, and then rebooted and blow me if the thing didn't boot up just fine. Now, of course, I have to bring my monitor through, unplug the computer from the TV, try it with its own monitor, and if it works, move the whole shebang back through to where it usually sits.

You know, not so very long ago, it seems, I just needed a pad of paper and a pen and ink.

Oh Crap!!!

My bastard links have all gone because I was poncing about with the template. I am a moron.

It'll take days to put them all back.

So sorry.

Rod.

Well I for one am shocked at that potty-mouth, McKie. As you can see, the links are making their way back. Fool!

The Joys of Sax, and other UK Cartoonists

Weekend Magazine and Titbits Magazine were a lot like America's National Enquirer, but with a lot more cartoons - when the Enquirer did carry cartoons, that is. Alone amongst the two, Weekend sometimes compiled a lot of cartoons into The Weekend Book of Jokes, which was about 70 pages thick and carried 3 or 4 cartoons per page. Of course Weekend didn't pay any of us for second use of the cartoons, or even ask permission to use them, and they kept the original artwork; but nonetheless, the publication was a great market for British cartoonists, a good window for work, and a great place to experiment. That is if you could muscle the great SAX out of the way.

This is a bunch of pages from Weekend No.22 which features a range of great cartoonists, a surprising amount of whom are still with us and still producing great cartoons.

The opening cartoon is by Noel Ford. Noel is a bit of a hero of mine. I wanted to become as good as Noel, but I didn't realise he would spend the decades getting even better. It's sickening really because as you can see from the cartoon above, he never had that awkward development stage, he was always a great cartoonist. What can you do?

I like Roger's cartoon here, but it's next to a SAX. I think SAX influenced more British gag cartoonists than any anyone else, during the 60s the 70s and the 80s. His cartoons were all over all the British papers and Titbits and, of course, Weekend.

Sax again, but the bottom cartoon is nice, it's a Roland Fiddy, who was better known for his Tramps comic strip.

Again Sax, alongside the Sax though is a Paul White cartoon. Paul White drew nice cartoons.

Another brilliant Noel Ford cartoon, and up there beside the SAX cartoon is one by Jim Watson. I really, really, liked Jim Watson's work. I'm pretty certain Jim was/is an American cartoonist who sent a lot of work over here and many of his cartoons appeared in my local paper, the Edinburgh Evening News.
The Doctor Who comic readers will recognise Dicky Howett's work. Dicky, like Jones and David Myers created really original looking cartoons. I think I have a sort of Wabi Sabi liking for that kind of drawing; it's pleasingly wrong - if you get my drift.

Two nice drawings here by Ivor and Frank (Quanda) Holmes. I like Frank, I have one of his original drawings.

These two, alongside the ubiquitous SAX, are by Colin Earl, who seems always to have had those nice fluid lines, and an early Mike Turner (you can tell by the noses).

The top cartoon is by Jones. Suddenly, out of the blue, I got Jones. I got his drawings and his humour.

The top right cartoon is by Jim Crocker, who was also a comics artist. His signature is a "crockerdile"; geddit?
Another really original cartoonist up top there, the great Ray Lowry, no stranger to fans of The Clash and readers of The New Musical Express.

Another Lowry, and top right there, an ALB. ALB's cartoons looked great to me, his lines varied thick and then thin, as though that Crow Quill or Gillot (I'm guessing Crow Quill) nib was being pushed in any direction he chose (not as easy as it sounds). He really seemed to attack the paper and the drawings always looked more substantial as a result.

ALB and SAX, of course, but at the top a nice big Keith Reynolds; again a cartoonist better known for his comic work.

The big ALB cartoon of Noah's Ark takes up most of this page. It's excellent, of course. I tried to get a cartoon by him or at least a print of one of his cartoons from the Daily Mirror. They sent me a bromide, exactly the same size as the cartoon in the paper, about 1.5"x1".

Hah, I didn't like Rali's comic strip "Hamish", in fact I rate it about the worst strip of all time - but I like his cartoon here.


Fiddy and SAX again, but the top cartoon here is one of Kevin Woodcock's wordless specialities. A Woodcock classic is usually wordless, and features trees.

Alongside SAX here are Dish and Barry Knowles. Back then Dish seemed to be inspired by Willie Rushton.

An oldie here by Kim. It's good. The yob looks great.

Another nice Lowry. Couldn't resist this one.

Lowry again, and SAX, but it's the Pete Williams I like here. I always liked Pete's cartoons. Mike Williams is great too, but has a much more controlled line than Pete's.

A brilliant slapstick cartoon here by SAX and another great example of Noel Ford's brilliance.

I think the top one here is a Mike Aitkinson, again, a cartoonist better known for his comic strips and also these days his card lines.

This is a great Ray Lowry and above it a Colin Whittock cartoon. I bought a Colin Whittock original for my cousin Alan (his money).

Another great gag/single-column cartoonist, REX and below I think is a cartoon by Sally Artz.

A nice gag by Acken and another great visual gag by SAX.

This has three great drawings, once again the cartoonist at the top right, Brian Platt, is better known as a comic strip artist and Roy Nixon always created perfect looking cartoons.

Hah, the cartoon on the bottom left is by Gerald Lip, who went on to become the Cartoon Editor for the Daily Express and the Daily Star. Nice guy.

Roy Nixon again and Fiddy and the great Dick Bogie. I have an original by Bogie, from Weekend Magazine, as it happens.

The top one here is by Clew. Clew did a lot of Spot the Difference cartoons. Very funny cartoonist.


The Walker cartoon on the top right here stuck with me. I thought it was very funny and it made me rethink my own writing.

Another great; Dave Parker, bottom left.

I think the top cartoon here is an early Anthony Hutchins. I worked with Anthony on the Buster Comic. His drawings are very bold, very powerful but fluid.

The cartoon on the bottom left is by Nigel Edwards, I think. I also like the top one, it's still funny.

The cartoon above these two is by Nick. I'm not sure when he left these shores so I don't know if he was based in the US or the UK when he sold this one. Nick is a great cartoonist, I think he created Alan Coren's favourite cartoon for Punch back in the 1980s.

The Rees cartoon is still very funny. Rees was a big influence on a lot of cartoonists who read Punch in the 80s.

You know, you tend to overlook the fact that Weekend was a great training ground for cartoonists. I suppose it's because we think of the humour as "general", in perjorative way, but it was a good magazine for cartoonists and it is missed.